Everytime I watch, I will cry

Every time i watch this part of the last episode, I will cry.

I dun normally cry unless that show is very very very good.



.........


Prehaps ... it's very me ba...
I always have this thought that no one knows:
If even I have terminal illness ... I will disappear and die alone ...
Go to a place where no one can find me, like nursing home ... and die ... alone

Sometimes, I use to think ... no one will really bother when I'm useless by then.
Even though i know that, tt's a lie... but somehow... in a portion of my heart ... I think that way.

But watching this show changes me a little bit... It really bring this little thought tt no one knows, out of me ...


If there is only one person who will be like Xiang Qing's family.
I know it will be my mum.

I know she will not forsake me :)
Watching this show helps me remember that.


I love you mum.

Growing up.

Went back to see my blog last time at linko.deviantart.com. Wanted to give a brother some things i worte there last time to encourage him. Along the way, i stumble across some of the entries i wrote last time.

I realise how simple I was last time, and also how childish I was last time.
How real I was last time. and how rash I was last time.

It is good to keep a jounral. Many years later, you will react like this :
Huh?! You mean i actually worte tt?!!!
HAHAHA...


I realise i have grown up much ... more mature and compose when handling things (still improving la but much much better)
But also... more conformed and programmed...

I wanted to be child like again.


We need to grow more and more mature, and also more and more simple.
If not, you may win the whole world, and lose your soul




Lose my Soul - Toby Mac

(feat. Kirk Franklin, Mandisa)

Man I wanna tell ya'll something, Man.
Man I'm not gonna let these material thing's, get in my way, ya'll.
I'm trying to get somewhere.
I'm trying to get somewhere,
Thats real and pure and true and eternal.

Father God, I am clay in your hands,
Help me to stay that way through all life's demands,
'Cause they chip and they nag and they pull at me,
And every little thing I make up my mind to be,
Like I'm gonna be a daddy whose in the mix,
And I'm gonna be a husband who stays legit,
And I pray that I'm an artist who rises above,
The road that is wide and filled with self love,
Everything that I see draws me,
Though it's only in You that I can truly see that its a feast for the eyes- a low blow to purpose.
And I'm a little kid at a three ring circus.

I don't want to gain the whole world, and lose my soul,
Don't wanna walk away, let me hear the people say.
I don't want to gain the whole world, and lose my soul,
Don't wanna walk away, let me hear the people say.

(Mr. Franklin, Step up to the mic sir)

The paparazzi flashes, and that they think that it's you,
But they don't know that who you are is not what you do,
True, we get it twisted when we peak at the charts,
Yo before we part from the start,
Where's your heart?
You a pimp, hustler?
Tell me what's your title,
America has no more stars, now we call them idols,
You sit idle, While we teach prosperity,
The first thing to prosper should be inside of me.
We're free...
Not because of 22's on the range,
But Christ came in range, we said yes now we changed,
Not the same, even though I made a fall,
Since I got that call, no more Saul, now I'm Paul.
(YEP!)

I don't want to gain the whole world, and lose my soul,
Don't wanna walk away, let me hear the people say.
I don't want to gain the whole world, and lose my soul,
Don't wanna walk away, let me hear the people say.
Don't wanna walk away,
Don't wanna walk away

How do I sense the tide that's rising?
De-sensitizing me from living in light of eternity,
How do I sense the tide that's rising?
It's hypnotizing me from living in light of eternity,
How do I sense the tide that's rising?
De-sensitizing me from living in light of eternity.

(Lord what we gon do,We're relying on you,
all eyes are on you Lord,
all eyes are on you, all eyes are on you Jesus.)

I don't want to gain the whole world, and lose my soul,
Don't wanna walk away, let me hear the people say.
(Don't let me lose my soul, my soul.)
I don't want to gain the whole world, and lose my soul,
(This is my honesty, Father, won't you cover me.)
I don't want to gain the whole world, and lose my soul,
(Don't wanna walk away, and all those people say)
I don't want to gain the whole world, and lose my soul,
(Don't wanna lose, I don't wanna lose my soul.)

Lord forgive us when we get consumed by the things of this world,
That fight for our love, and our passion,
As our eyes are open wide and on you.
Grant us the privilege of your world view,
And may your kingdom be, what wakes us up, and lays us down.

(Hallelujah, Don't wanna lose our soul,
No, Don't wanna lose my soul.)

Hey excuse me,
I'm looking or the after party,
Toby,
Haha, yeah, last door on the left, you'll hear it.
Thanks,
No problem.

Don't let me lose my soul, I never wanna walk away,
I don't wanna lose my soul,
No, no, no.
Don't let me, don't let me, lose my soul,
I don't wanna walk away,
Don't let me walk away,
Na na na na no,
Don't let me lose, my soul,
I'm never gonna walk away.